April 4, 2015
by Suzanne Roberts

How do I help a 90 year old friend throw away all her collections . . .

Submitted on 2015/04/30 at 2:07 pm

How do I help a 90 year old friend throw away all her collections of magazines, books, art supplies ? She has been in her apartment for 25 years and they raised her rent and she must move. Her three grown children are fed up with her and refuse to make up the rent difference. Some state helpers are trying to find her another place to live she is very picky

Suzanne Roberts
Replied on 2015/04/30 at 3:26 pm | In reply to gloria.

This is where “tough love” comes in. Her magazines hold three concerns. One is a fall risk. one is a fire risk and the other is dealing with a hoarder. When the county adult protective services step in when there is no involved family, they will go to court and a guardian will be appointed. That guardian will see that she finds a safe age appropriate place to live and help her let go of the magazines. Events will make her decisions for her.

March 25, 2015
by Suzanne Roberts

Dear Marilyn

Suzanne answers Marilyn’s question:

Your problem feels irresolvable because it is. You can’t leave your medical care. Your mother has the right to refuse to move to a climate she doesn’t wish to tolerate. You can help her a great deal as a long distance caregiver. Contact the Area Agency on Aging www.n4a.org   They are an excellent first contact for referral to services in Reno. They will connect you with agencies in Reno who will visit with your mother, make an assessment of what she needs and set services into place for her. They can set up transportation, free grocery shopping and delivery services, meals on wheels, suggest senior centers with social activities that may interest her and on and on and on. If their assessment finds her an “at risk” senior, they will set up in-home caregiving or work with you and the courts, to move her into a living situation where she can get the nutrition and caregiving she needs. Money is not an issue. The services are on a sliding fee scale, from no charge at all, to a fee her income can afford. The Area Agency on Aging is a federally funded program, existing in every county in the country. It is an excellent place to start researching the multiple services for the elderly.


I know you would rather be her caregiver, but please let go of the things you can’t change. Life happens. Get some support from Adult Children of Aging Parents. Call the Social Work Department of any large local hospital. They have extensive lists of support groups for family members. You will find that taking action for yourself, as you contact services in Reno for your mother, will alleviate a great deal of your stress…which is probably exacerbating your own physical problems!

January 27, 2015
by Suzanne Roberts

Website Question

Submitted on 2015/01/21 at 3:02 pm

I really love your blog. Excellent colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself? Please reply back as I’m looking to create my very own blog and want to find out where you got this from or what the theme is named. Appreciate it!

Suzanne Roberts
Replied on 2015/01/27 at 2:40 pm | In reply to Patriciavon.

It was developed using WordPress 4.1.1 running Yoko theme. Let me know how it goes.

June 1, 2014
by Suzanne Roberts

Suzanne replies to Marion

RE: Marion’s question

It will be important to ask Marion more about her mothers health condition and her cognitive capabilities.  The frequent calls indicate Mom is frightened and needs reassurance that Marion is within “reach.”.

This is an interesting situation to put before the group. Is Mom suffering from dementia? If so, reasoning with her will not take away her fear.

What ideas do we offer?  If mom is cognitively sound she can participate in options that will make her feel safe. What might those be? the most effective “safety item” is to install a Lifeline at your mother’s home. lifeline is the most frequently used service for seniors.  Call them, ask questions, it will provide a way for mom to be reassured without a call to you at work.